TANTRICK GODDESS

With the sun in the sky and not a cloud in sight all any of us really want to do is strip off and go to the park / beach / pool. But in the limited British summer it's not just a case of relax-and-sit-back, it's a case of utilizing every second of sunlight to achieve that California perfect creosote glazed tan that'll make all your friends jealous. Here's the BLOW guide to bronzed perfection.

Start off a month before the sun (yes that means when it's raining in April - plan ahead!) taking Imedeen tan optimizing tablets. We're lead to believe taking 1 a day enriches the melanin in your skin and readies it for maximum tantasticity.

Then once the sun eventually shows itself (you'll already be off your face on tan optimizer by now so you're on the way to becoming a tanning machine) get some Sun reactive tan intensifying sun tan lotion. We like Nivea Sun Protect and Bronze (0% fake tan btw - so don't worry about streaks). Apply liberally, surely when it comes to anything bronzing the more the merrier.

Finally, when you're nicely crisp and golden from excessive sun exposure cool down with some tan enhancing after sun lotion. Simple do a good one and it's cheap, also cause it's simple it makes you feel more like you're actually caring for your skin and not just destroying it with sun. Again slosh it around like an old lush on Cabernet. It's good for you.

By now (it's probably mid-July, August?) you'll already have a tan people would kill for - and hopefully on some level still have healthy skin (... maybe - it doesn't really matter but convince yourself that at least you've minimized the damage the best you could). However, if you really want to take it to the next step...

Hawaiian Tropic Carrot Oil Enriched Tan Optimizing Tanning Oil Spray. SPF 0 - yes you heard right, ZERO! Now take note kids, this is not for the faint hearted - you'll essentially be basting yourself with Crisp'n'Dry and roasting your skin. But no pain no gain - hopefully all the Imedeen in your system will have made you immune to UV by now (or you'll have a leathery outer layer so impenetrable even napalm wouldn't leave a mark).

Happy tanning!

Ashx