Traveling into London from Essex every day is an enlightening experience. As a county known for its abundance of city traders and image conscious dolly birds you’d think that the train carriages would be full to bursting with a bevy of well presented folk busting out their Gucci loafers and arse length hair extensions.
However, it appears that this doesn’t apply to weekday train journeys. By the time the 8:46 chugs into Gidea Park station I am left with some classic examples of train fashion gone wrong.
My BIGGEST bugbear is the suit wearer who believes it is completely acceptable to pair his expensive pinstripe number with the dirtiest, scruffiest, nastiest backpack he owns. To be fair I mock briefcases in equal measures (what do they put in there? A packet of crisps? A copy of The Sun?....the mind boggles) but it is marginally more acceptable than the offensive sports/office fusion which I am spotting an increasing amount of on the Shenfield to Liverpool Street service.
I let him off a little bit as he is riding a bike!
My other major problem is with the ladies. Ok, I get it that you walk the 20 minute journey from your house to the station every morning. I understand this would not be enjoyable in 5 inch heels but seriously, do my eyes need to be offended by the Asics running shoes you insist on wearing with your poo brown pencil skirt and matching double breasted jacket. In short, the answer is no!
My final moan is at those who wear sunglasses on the tube! The London Underground is known for well, quite frankly being underground, that means there is no sunlight that will meet your sensitive pupils. You are officially UV ray safe! Unless you are blind, have a severe case of conjunctivitis or have ‘accidently’ walked into a door there is no excuse for this behaviour. Take them off and deal with the unflattering strip lighting like the rest of us.*
Thank you and goodnight
Lauren xxx
* Note to reader. Obviously when chronically hungover or high sunglasses are perfectly acceptable on tubes!
Dress by 
